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The Truth About Changing Your Personality

The truth about your personality is that you can’t change it much.

Your core personality, not to be confused with your public façade, is mostly fixed.

It isn’t what you determine it to be; it just is.

You can’t change your core appearance, including height and body type, and you can’t change who you are as a person, including your unique subconscious personality traits, such as innate abilities and defenses.

You can change your persona to some degree, just like you can change your hair color, but a naturally reserved person is going to appear awkward pretending to be gregarious, and a natural leader won’t follow someone else forever.

Ask any parent with multiple children if his or her kids all possessed blank slate personalities from the beginning, and you’ll get a look of disbelief and be told all his or her kids were different from the start.

My findings agree with that notion: you are born with your principal favorable and negative character traits.

To be blunt, jerks are born, not made.

It may sound pessimistic, but embracing this truth will save you an enormous amount of time. You can’t change another person. As the saying goes, it’s easier to move a mountain than to change a person’s character.

No matter how much effort you put into reinventing yourself, you are still you.

You can maximize your strengths and identify your inborn weaknesses, thereby making the most of your personal fate. Personal fate is another way to say all the things in your life you can’t change.

Self-discipline can lead to gradual, small changes, such as quitting bad habits or learning a new skill.

Although most humans can be spontaneous and changeable, each individual’s larger, unique personality framework makes them largely predictable.

You gain a tremendous advantage by learning as much as you can about another’s character, because with understanding comes happiness and possibly a great reduction in your overall level of risk if he or she possesses major, hidden red flag personality traits.

“No matter where I go, I still end up me. What’s missing never changes. The scenery may change, but I’m still the same incomplete person.”
Haruki Murakami

Copyright © 2024 Scott Petullo

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