People never change much. Instead of rejecting this reality, making your life more difficult, try a different approach.
Question:
“Many people change their behavior for the better after long struggles, such as with obesity, addiction or finally finding the right relationship or career. So how can you say people don’t change?”
Answer:
Aside from addicts who get clean and sober, how often have you known someone to change so much you don’t recognize his personality? Never, if you know his true character.
Someone with an addictive personality will always have an addictive personality, and a jerk still has those red flag personality traits seething beneath the surface.
As I say in this blog post, “Discipline and perseverance can lead to small, incremental change, such as finally kicking unhealthy habits, but your overall character remains the same.” Your true nature remains the same no matter what you do.
I say in this blog post, “Handwriting analysis (graphology) shows how a person thinks and acts, along with their emotional balance, maturity, and much more. It denotes past conduct and displays potential for future behavior.”
I assess character as I perceive it now, though I’ve found that people’s core personality traits generally don’t change, just like people’s looks and voices don’t change much; you’ll still recognize her voice or know who she is after not seeing her for years.
Demanding that someone change the way she is will make your life miserable. Instead, just accept that people are who they are, and why not prepare for potential problems? I’m an optimist, not a pessimist, and very pragmatic.
Find out as much as you can about someone, before investing too much time, money, or emotion, because understanding more easily allows you to accept him or her as they are (and limit your risk).
“Money and success don’t change people; they merely amplify what is already there.”
Will Smith
Copyright © 2015 Scott Petullo