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Posts Tagged ‘Worst Behavior Traits’

The Four Worst Behavior Traits That Destroy Relationships

Monday, December 22nd, 2014
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Psychologist John Gottman identifies what he calls the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” the four worst behavior patterns that destroy interpersonal relationships.

The four most destructive behavior traits, according to Dr. Gottman are listed below.

Criticism: stating one’s complaints as a defect in one’s partner’s personality, i.e., giving the partner negative trait attributions. Example: ‘You always talk about yourself. You are so selfish.’”

Contempt: statements that come from a relative position of superiority. Contempt is the greatest predictor of divorce and must be eliminated. Example: ‘You’re an idiot.’”

Defensiveness: self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victim-hood. Defensiveness wards off a perceived attack. Example: ‘It’s not my fault that we’re always late; it’s your fault.’”

Stonewalling: emotional withdrawal from interaction. Example: The listener does not give the speaker the usual nonverbal signals that the listener is ‘tracking’ the speaker.”

Read more about his findings here.

As devastating as those four behavior patterns are, there are many others to be wary of in the sea of subconscious fears and defense patterns.

The difference between reasonable people and jerks includes many possible characteristics, including excessive bias, stubbornness, defiance, domineering behavior, vanity, and dishonesty.

My findings tell me that people don’t really ever change much and you may not really get to know someone’s true personality for months or even years after regular contact.

In the extreme, all of the above red flag personality traits are readily detectable through handwriting analysis and my unconventional security investigations.

Copyright © 2014 Scott Petullo