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Personality Analysis Reality: People Don’t Really Ever Change Much

When is the last time someone you know well changed so much that you didn’t readily recognize his or her unique character? Never. It simply doesn’t happen. A tiger doesn’t change its stripes, as the saying goes.

False optimism about “completely reinventing” oneself abounds in the self-help marketplace today. As is so often the case, inspirational themes clash with reality. I’m all for inspiration–inspiration rooted in realism.

Discipline and perseverance can lead to small, incremental change, such as finally kicking unhealthy habits, but your overall character remains the same.

It’s been said that humans are impulsive and capricious. While I agree with that to a point, within a larger context people are largely predictable. The framework of predestination, constantly outlined through comprehensive astrology and numerology, along with immutable personality qualities discerned through handwriting analysis, time and time again support my contention.

Have you ever tried to change an introvert into a cold-calling sales dynamo, or a Neanderthal basic male into a brilliant literary icon? How about transforming someone who thrives on partnerships and can’t be alone into a solo-entrepreneur or an eremite? Anything is possible, right? Wrong. Your true nature is what it is and doesn’t change very much.

You are who you are—be grateful and make the most of it. Also, never try to change another person; accept them as they are and don’t hold them accountable. Expecting another to change only leads to disappointment.

“It’s easier to move a mountain than change a person’s character.”
Chinese proverb

“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they don’t understand one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.”
Helen Rowland

Copyright © 2013 Scott Petullo

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