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How to Deal With Extreme Interpersonal Conflict

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Question:
“If major conflict is happening with unavoidable people in life like parents or wife or children, what solution do you suggest to overcome it?”

Answer:
The question above is in response to this blog post.

In it I ask, “Haven’t you ever interacted with someone only to find that it’s all but impossible to maintain harmony, even when you share a lot in common, including similar backgrounds, and both lack personality red flags that promote extreme conflict between two people?”

It’s highly likely you’ve encountered at least a few people with whom you have innate, extreme interpersonal conflict. But what do you do if those individuals are immediate family members or others you can’t easily avoid?

Varying degrees of extreme conflict are identifiable through the comprehensive astrology and numerology charts, and some types are much more difficult than others.

The range starts with moderate strife (such as with siblings who argue regularly), and goes all the way to impossible-to-deal-with-almost-all-of-the-time, such as with a husband and wife who are never happy together.

The example of moderate strife, such as with quarreling siblings, is very common. You argue, you stop arguing, you shrug, and continue on with your life. The key to dealing with this type of interpersonal conflict is to simply acknowledge that it’s a natural part of the connection, you can’t always avoid it, and when it does happen, don’t take it too personally.

In doing so, the concept of blame becomes far less relevant; the revelation of innate strife within the connection diminishes the momentum of the negative energy and makes the connection somewhat easier. Instead of accusations (e.g., “It’s your fault.” “No, it’s your fault.”), you accept the inherent discord.

Above average levels of interpersonal conflict, such as with battling co-workers, is tougher to deal with. I suggest you (as a business owner, or hiring supervisor) know what you’re getting into before you form a business partnership or hire someone.

Involving more extreme cases of interpersonal conflict, such as with an ongoing, never-ending war between spouses, the simple solution is to divorce, obviously.

But what do you do if you can’t divorce, for whatever reason? I’m not a therapist, I’m an analyst, but I suggest you either express infinite gratitude for the opportunity to deal with extreme interpersonal conflict and, or establish separate bedrooms and lives, while publicly pretending to be happy like so many other couples.

Dealing with extreme interpersonal conflict isn’t easy and it’s impossible to eliminate it, but accepting that it’s just the way it is between you and that other person is a big help in coping with it.

Copyright © 2013 Scott Petullo

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