Everyone has been in this precarious position: someone tells you their (conscious) intent that seems to conflict significantly with what you suspect their subconscious motivations to be.
5 Possible Examples of Conscious Intent Opposing Subconscious Motivations:
- A business partner assures you that he has no intention of targeting your personal clients, those outside of your partnership, yet much of what he does conflicts with his promise. He claims, “I’m only calling on your biggest client because I want to find out more about her business since it will help me improve the quality of my service in a different sector.”
- A romantic partner tells you he’s always wanted exclusivity, yet you suspect he’s playing the field. He says, “I only want you. I’m out a lot because social interaction with various people helps me to relax.”
- A potential spouse, one who has already profited through divorce, assures you, “Money is not important to me. I only demanded so much from my ex because my lawyer said it’s customary, and I don’t believe in prenuptial agreements because they aren’t romantic.”
- The person encouraging you to invest in a speculative venture off-handedly asserts, “I would never rope you in just to help cover any potential losses; I just want to share the profits because that’s who I am.”
- Your accountant professes his newfound love for on-line gambling, and says, “It’s not a serious habit, only weekend recreation.”
It’s one of the more fascinating dynamics of the human mind. A person gives you pretend reasons for their actions, and even believes those reasons, while the real motivations are hidden in the subconscious mind. It’s amazing that few things in a person’s overall behavior are controlled by conscious motives.
Most people tell white lies from time to time, and the majority are harmless, but if your livelihood, finances, and even personal safety are at risk, it pays to find out about a person’s real motivations and personality.
Copyright © 2013 Scott Petullo